Fear of Marriage: Signs He Cannot Bring Himself to Say “I Do”

For most people, getting married is a definite sign of lifelong commitment that encompasses emotional loyalty as it promises that one would remain monogamous throughout the union. While this is enticing to most of us, others don’t feel the same. For some people, spending the rest of your life with a single person—even just the thought of it—is frightening. This strong, nagging fear of marriage, which some people fear even more than death, is known as gamophobia.


A gamophobic person may still be involved in a relationship however, when the idea of marriage is brought to the table, he/she gets irrationally fearful and nervous. Gamophobia is pretty common to people all over the world but this usually occurs to men. There are various factors that can cause it, such as financial risks or personal insecurity, unpleasant related incident, anxiety and other social factors that come along with matrimony.

In a less evil comparison, a person who is emotionally unavailable for the time being is easier to deal with than that of a gamophobe because treatments and counseling for gamophobia usually take a long time and are very specific to the person’s needs, depending on the severity of the fear. If you suspect that either you or your partner is going through a similar issue, these major symptoms (for both men and women) might help you gauge red flags and figure things out on what to do:

  1. Ill-temper, heart palpitations and panic attacks when marriage is discussed. Gamophobic people tend to change their moods from being happy and calm to being annoyed and anxious when the topic of marriage is brought up, especially when asked about his/her own thoughts about settling down. In addition, the feeling of nervousness becomes evident when confronted about it.


  1. Physical discomforts such as trouble in breathing, sweating, dizziness and vomiting. These physical reactions are sure fire signs of disgust and avoidance of commitment. It may sometimes be perceived as irrational or over reacting but are normal behaviors of a gamophobic person.


  1. Vague plans (if any) about starting a family in the future. A gamophobic person’s plan and reasoning about family life entails misleading information and uncertainty, which often becomes hurtful to his/her partner.


  1. Criticizing one’s partner for discussing marriage. A gamophobic person may pick a fight with his/her partner for bringing up the topic of long-term commitment, especially when it’s brought up during a social gathering.


  1. Indulgence in flings or casual relationships. For most gamophobic people, they often engage into open relationships where expectations are less and most importantly, there is no commitment. This type of arrangement brings them the freedom to have multiple partners or casual flings.

Gamophobia may be a challenging issue to be surpassed, but all it takes is making a diligent effort in understanding one’s psychological issues and seeking external guidance. In most cases, it is usually helpful to go back to the roots where the fear has begun and reconcile things. After all, marriage is a gift for a lifetime that should not be compromised just because of fear.